Thursday, July 10, 2014

OPTIMISM AND ACCEPTANCE



A few weeks ago, Dr. B asked me if Beasley was coughing.  I had so many other things to remember at the time that I didn’t think to ask why.  

Beasley started coughing!

So of course, I looked it up online and that’s one of the signs that the cancer has spread to the lungs. After having my own boo-hoo fest for the last two days, I took her in for her 3rd chemo treatment this morning and asked for an x-ray.  Just a lot more inflammation than the last x-ray, no noticeable tumors.  He said that they could be really small and we’re not seeing them but usually they are pretty pronounced.  He thought it could be allergies and told me to add Benadryl to her already extensive list of meds.  

If the x-ray showed large masses, there would be no reason to continue with the chemo.  I knew this, hence the boo-hoo fest.  

I am SO SO grateful that he didn’t see anything but if I only get two years with her, then that will be what I will try to accept and somehow get through.  She is a special little girl and I feel blessed that I was the one chosen to love and take care of her.  I saw that little sad wounded face and just knew I was meant to adopt her. 

But I’m not giving up. I’m still very optimistic. Especially because she is acting so happy and playful.  This week she even barked at the door to go potty. She’s never done that before.  I just let her out all the time so she won’t go in the house.  And speaking of potty, she followed me into the bathroom to get scratches. The other dogs (even cats) always do, but not her.  There is no bathroom privacy in my house, even for company. 

Now let’s pray she doesn’t get sick from this treatment. 

No comments: